Roasts for your friends

People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore. I believed in evolution until I met you. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time… and walk past. You look like a ‘before’ picture.

Lean in, big guy. Another comeback that doesn’t miss: “Oooh, you wanna kiss me so bad.”. If someone is angry—or obsessed—enough with you, the insinuation that they in fact harbor ...Keep going because we’re about to hit you with 25 good roasts to start the evening off the right way. 1. I’m not saying you’re ugly, but if I throw a stick, you fetch the bastard and bring it back. 2. Before we start, dude, you’ve got something on your chin … no, not that one … nope, keep going. 3.Get Some Brains! Another iconic way to insult someone tall is with this savage remark, “There’s more to life than tall legs. Get some brains!”. This line is another offensive remark that’s appropriate to call out a tall person, especially someone who’s very proud of their height and shows off.February 29, 2024. Krakenimages.com/Shutterstock. Need a hilarious way to put your friends in their place? One that gets the point across without being too aggressive or …Top 5 Best Comebacks. Here are our top 5 best comebacks to insults in an argument. Arm yourself for your next insult battle now! I’d give you a nasty look but you’ve already got one. If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. I love what you’ve done with your hair.Here are 20 Funny Roasts for Someone with a Buzz Cut. Your hair is so short; that even shadows struggle to find something to cling to. Buzz cut on a low maintenance budget. Your hair is so short; even the wind skips over it. Buzz cut bagged a degree in “proving less is more”. Your hair is so short; it’s like a pop-up ad.Speak clearly and avoid muttering or saying ‘um’ and ‘uh’ too much. Have other funny comebacks ready so you aren’t left speechless after their response. Use their words against them and make it a part of your following comebacks. For example, if they call you an idiot, you could say, ‘It takes one to know one.’.Tuko.co.ke published an article about the funniest roasts for your friends on Instagram or Facebook. Roasting and making fun of friends is the best pastime. This is one of the nicest aspects of friendship. When roasting your closest friend's image on social media, use puns and clever lines to make the caption entertaining.

I See Red Whenever I See You. “I see red whenever I see you” is another thing to say to smartly insult a redhead. This statement implies that you always get angry whenever you see them. Also, it’s a play on words that implies that they can make you angry by just appearing. You should stay away from people.30 Short People Jokes For Quick Comedic Relief. Being of somewhat an abbreviated stature myself, I know all too well the jokes and the giggles such a caliber causes to people around me. No, I cannot reach the upper shelf, ha-ha, and yes, I can fit into a box, same as a cat, thank you. However, if the giants think their lame roasts for …6. Reply by a kindergartner, to a pair of 5th graders who tried to tell him Santa isn’t real: “Santa brings me presents, and if Santa doesn’t bring you presents, you should think about why.”. 7. Female friend: “I’ll just meet a doctor and become a trophy wife.”. Male friend: “They don’t give trophies for last place”.A clever way to suggest that the player’s shots on goal are less than helpful. #8 – “You couldn’t hit a puck into an ocean.”. Exaggerating the player’s lack of accuracy to a comedic level. #9 – “You move slower than a zamboni in a snowstorm.”. A witty comparison that implies the player is extremely slow on the ice.He’s your good friend now. 4. “After you left, everything reminds me of you. ‘Everything’ here means only the bad ones.”. You tell them you are still thinking of them, but only for the worst-case scenarios. This way to tell your ex-friend how miserable and unlucky they were to you. 5.White teeth on your black skin look more racist than “good” on you. 6. You look like a living statue with black paint. “You look like a living statue with black paint” is another funny way to get at your black friend who is black. It is a sarcastic approach to describe how black they are.

6. Reply by a kindergartner, to a pair of 5th graders who tried to tell him Santa isn’t real: “Santa brings me presents, and if Santa doesn’t bring you presents, you should think about why.”. 7. Female friend: “I’ll just meet a doctor and become a trophy wife.”. Male friend: “They don’t give trophies for last place”.3. Slight Cluelessness: “You’re so bad at directions, you could get lost in your own room.”. You and your friend are trying to get somewhere, but they keep getting confused about directions. 4. Love for the Odd: “You’re so into [weird hobby], I bet you even dream in [hobby-related jargon].”. Your friend is super passionate about a ...Even a mad person roams about freely these days,” “The magic did not work. Try another person,” and “I don’t follow commands, I only listen to opinions. So, yours is duly noted and successfully ignored.”. Below are 20 funny one-liners for a bossy person: You always act like the boss even when you’re not.7. “The amount of time you waste on me, if you spend it in your life, you will do great.”. 8. “You’re such a dump person who thinks he’s strong and smart.”. 9. “Thanks for your opinion, but what you said to me actually suits you more.”. 10. “Nope, I’m not going to complain to anyone.101 Funny Insults. 1. The closest you'll come to a brainstorm is a light drizzle. UnSplash. 2. You look smarter in pictures. UnSplash. 3. Honestly, I'm just impressed you could read this.

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Here are some of the best funny insults for friends that will have everyone laughing! 1. You know your face looks like something I’d draw with my left hand. I’m right-handed, so it’s not pretty. 2. If a mirror could talk, it would probably laugh at your face. Or it would shout and beg you to stop.My friend, with his thick voice, called me pretending to be a secret agent. I almost handed over my bank account details. 3. Voice-Activated devices can’t recognize thick voices ... It’s so relatable how a thick voice in the dark can make your skin crawl. Use this roast on that friend with the thickest voice you ever heard.Your forehead is so big it makes Kanye’s ego look small. Your forehead is so big and shiney it looks like a solar field. Youre forehead so big NASA thought it was Mars. Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile. Your forehead is so big you could roast meat on it. Your forehead is so big that if you had a stroke, it would look like ...Apr 5, 2022 · A silent jerk is one of the most peaceful feelings ever. 6. You don’t have to repeat yourself. I heard you, but I just wanted to ignore you. I hope that’s clear enough to make them quiet. 7. I love the sound you make when you shut up. It’s like peace on earth. 8.

The drawback could be if they are sensitive about being perceived as indifferent, so ensure it’s received in good spirits. 8. I’m convinced your brain is in airplane mode. This roast humorously suggests that your friend’s mental processes are temporarily disconnected, akin to a smartphone in airplane mode.For instance, “You’re so lazy, even the clock counts 60 seconds before you.”. Also, you can make a joke about them that they can relate to without being hurt. For example, “Now, I know why you’re too dull,” and “I’m not hurt, I’m just worried about your ugly personality.”. Below are 20 humorous one-liners for a 12-year-old:Jan 24, 2023 ... ... Roast Battle Barcelona James Regal A step by step guide to writing deadly roasts! Check out @RoastBattle on YouTube and RoastBattleBarcelona ...Lean in, big guy. Another comeback that doesn’t miss: “Oooh, you wanna kiss me so bad.”. If someone is angry—or obsessed—enough with you, the insinuation that they in fact harbor ...6. Reply by a kindergartner, to a pair of 5th graders who tried to tell him Santa isn’t real: “Santa brings me presents, and if Santa doesn’t bring you presents, you should think about why.”. 7. Female friend: “I’ll just meet a doctor and become a trophy wife.”. Male friend: “They don’t give trophies for last place”.50+ of the best sus jokes that will make your friends laugh. Humour is subjective and relative, but sus jokes are so awful but hilarious in an iconic way. Sus jokes are your best bet if you are with your friends and want to make them laugh out loud. Sus jokes are considered jokes that are in poor taste, offensive, or insensitive.Our New "Roast" Filter Will Generate Personalized Insults Faster Than You Can Say "Gordon Ramsay". (Lightly) roast everyone you know with this custom meme generator. by BuzzFeed Labs.Here are 20 Funny Roasts for Someone with a Bowl Cut. You can roast someone with a blow cut with a sarcastic statement like this; “Your hair looks like it’s auditioning for the role of ‘Potato Head’ in the next Toy Story movie” or you can use one-liners for your roast: “Anytime I look at you, I crave a bowl of ramen.”.

Roast 1: “You’re so old, your birth certificate is in Roman numerals.”. This roast is a classic, perfect for teasing a friend who may be a little sensitive about their age. By playfully suggesting that their birth certificate is in Roman numerals, you’re highlighting their wisdom and experience with a hint of humor.

Here are 20 Playful Roasts for Someone who looks like a monkey. 1. You look like you were raised by monkeys, but even they didn’t want you. 2. You look like a monkey and not even a cute monkey-like Curious George! You’re more like a baboon that was raised by raccoons. 3.13. I found compassion and kindness once we broke up, that says a lot. 14. You were so predictable when we dated I saw your moves from a mile away. 15. If you were worthy of my love, we’d still be together. 16. Let us continue to …May 26, 2023 · We’ve collected a ton of fiery roasts that you can use in any situation. In this guide, we’ll equip you with awesome roasts and savage comeback quotes that will leave your opponents gasping. You’ll own the room with these good roasts and epic comebacks. Whether you wish to use a clever pun or a well-timed one-liner, we’ve got you covered! Jan 8, 2024 · Watch your friend go speechless as there will never be a comeback from this. Deliver your Insult this way: Exposing your hair to the environment might be the end of life as we know it. You are the reason bush burning became illegal. Aside from all-black, ginger hair should be a better look for a funeral. This Insult is always the perfect shot ... 1. I was going to tell a roast joke, but it’s a little too toast-y. 2. I burnt my roast, but it’s okay, I like my food well done. 3. My roast was so bad, it should have come with a fire extinguisher. 4. They asked me to roast their chicken, but I …Below are good roasts to keep your friendship going. Cheerful friends with smartphones laughing near the door of the building. Photo: @keira-burton (modified by author) Source: UGC. Thank you for …Watch your pastor playfully rebuke the evil spirit in you. It should be easy for the Pastor to give us sure 100 odds since he sees visions. 13. Our pastor is so good at pastoring, that he would be jobless if pastoring wasn’t in the picture. Roast your friend who is a pastor with this witty expression.Here are the smartest comebacks for nerds while dealing with dumb jealous people. 1. “I take N.E.R.D. as Nice, Energetic, Romantic, and Dashing.”. You definitely appear a proud nerd, as you give such a comeback in no time. This will certainly make them feel more jealous of your smartness. 2.Don’ts. Example. General. Use humor and wit, focus on light-hearted topics. Avoid personal or sensitive topics, don’t roast someone uncomfortable with it. “You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!”. Professional Setting. Keep it light, respect professional boundaries, use roasts to break the ice. Avoid roasting about ...

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3. Slight Cluelessness: “You’re so bad at directions, you could get lost in your own room.”. You and your friend are trying to get somewhere, but they keep getting confused about directions. 4. Love for the Odd: “You’re so into [weird hobby], I bet you even dream in [hobby-related jargon].”. Your friend is super passionate about a ...The amount of meaningful things you’ve done in your life wouldn’t be enough to fill a single page. I’d hate to come across a universe where you’re funny. I’d spell it out for you, but that’s assuming you know your ABC’s ; Swallow your pride and your tongue while you’re at it. Also: 55 Good Roasts . Savage ComebacksBelow are 20 funny roasts for a lazy person: Even a snail does things better than you. A lazy person always claims they’re innocent, after all, they did nothing. You’re too lazy even to understand that you’re too lazy. Being too lazy can drive one crazy. If you want to get things done quickly, just give a lazy person.Hey, Duck Lips! A funny nickname for someone who has large lips is, “Hey, Duck lips!”. This is a classic burner you can use to make fun of someone with big lips. Also, this one-liner is a suitable nickname for a friend. You can use it whenever you want to make fun of them to call their attention.Feb 13, 2022 · Keep going because we’re about to hit you with 25 good roasts to start the evening off the right way. 1. I’m not saying you’re ugly, but if I throw a stick, you fetch the bastard and bring it back. 2. Before we start, dude, you’ve got something on your chin … no, not that one … nope, keep going. 3. Discover a collection of savage insults and witty roasts perfect for poking fun at your friends in a playful manner. From funny jabs to epic burns, find the perfect lines to keep the laughter rolling.1 Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight not your phone number.”. 2 Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction. 3 Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, “We are family, even though you’re fatter than me.”. 4 Yo momma’s so fat and old that ...09 “I have my life and you have yours. Even if I am fat, it is not your problem. Try giving your life more meaning and stay away from mine.”. You May Also Like: 40 Ultimate Comebacks When Someone Calls You Ugly. 10 “I tried ignoring you, but thanks to your body odor you have my undivided attention.Jan 8, 2024 · Watch your friend go speechless as there will never be a comeback from this. Deliver your Insult this way: Exposing your hair to the environment might be the end of life as we know it. You are the reason bush burning became illegal. Aside from all-black, ginger hair should be a better look for a funeral. This Insult is always the perfect shot ... Talk to the people closest to your roastee, as they will be most ready to betray them. My buddy Jonathan van Halem—a fellow Brooklyn comedian—was once hired by a fan to roast a friend of theirs who was being punished for getting last place in his fantasy football league. (Who said that men are facing a loneliness epidemic?)Use these good roasts with friends. Whether you need a quick comeback, a funny insult, or something downright savage, we've got you covered! ….

Here are 30 funny roasts that rhyme: 1. You think you’re cool, but you’re just a fool. 2. Your fashion sense is a major offense. 3. Your jokes are weak, you need a technique. 4. Your dance moves are a sight to behold, a reminder of what not to be told.These good comebacks, from funny comebacks to sick burns, will help you win any argument. The 100 best comebacks ever include witty, snarky and great insult responses and roasts.Below are good roasts to keep your friendship going. Cheerful friends with smartphones laughing near the door of the building. Photo: @keira-burton (modified by author) Source: UGC. Thank you for …The drawback could be if they are sensitive about being perceived as indifferent, so ensure it’s received in good spirits. 8. I’m convinced your brain is in airplane mode. This roast humorously suggests that your friend’s mental processes are temporarily disconnected, akin to a smartphone in airplane mode.Roasting your friend is all about finding that perfect balance between humor and camaraderie. So are you ready to add some spice to your banter with your pals? Well, …20. Every time I have a stick in my hand, you start to look more and more like a piñata. 21. Everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing the privilege. 22. Let ...Roses are red, violets are blue. So is your face when I’m strangling you. 24. Roses are red, violets are blue. This card was expensive. Take off all your clothes. 25. Roses are red, violets are blue. A ripped condom created you. 26. Roses are red, violets are blue. Garbage gets dumped, and now you do too. 27. Roses are red, violets are blue.Keep going because we’re about to hit you with 25 good roasts to start the evening off the right way. 1. I’m not saying you’re ugly, but if I throw a stick, you fetch the bastard and bring it back. 2. Before we start, dude, you’ve got something on your chin … no, not that one … nope, keep going. 3.A good roast among friends makes for a savage good time. January 9, 2024. Dirty Knock-Knock Jokes That Aren't for Kids. If these off-color gags don't make you giggle, you're officially more mature than us. January 16, 2024. 110 Hilarious "Star Wars" Jokes. Roasts for your friends, [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1]